The Garden Of Edam

Photo courtesy of Renaud d’Avout d’Auerstaedt, Wikimedia Commons

In the beginning, there was the void. And God said, let there be cheese, and there was cheese. God saw that the cheese was good, and made more cheese. And behold there was Gouda, Wensleydale, Gruyère, Cheddar, Camembert, Mozzarella, Havarti, Parmesan, Feta, those little BabyBel things, and all manner of cheese.

And God created man and woman to eat the cheese, and he created a garden for them to dwell in, and he called it the Garden of Edam.

And God made a Gorgonzola tree in the garden, amidst all the other cheeses. And he said unto the man and the woman, You may eat of all the cheese in the Garden of Edam, but you shall not eat of the Gorgonzola.

But the man had a snake, and it was a naughty snake, and it spake unto him and said, Come on, eat the Gorgonzola already! And the man did, since he always does as his snake bids him. And his breath stank of Gorgonzola, and the woman was displeased.

But not as displeased as God, who came walking into the Garden of Edam for a visit, sniffed the man, and grew wrathful. And God said unto the man, You reek of Gorgonzola! You have done wrong and will be cast out and you can make your own bloody cheese!

And God cast out the man and the woman and destroyed the Garden of Edam with so much heat that it became a giant fondue, which God hauled off to Valhalla, where Thor was very happy about this gift, filled the molten cheese into kegs, and said Skål to all the Viking Warriors. The End.

This is a collaboration from the language and story games we play at our house. Brett and I do ‘alternating sentences’ impromptu storytelling for entertainment, and that’s how this little number came about. Once we have a theme, we quickly tell the story, egging each other on to become more and more outrageous if possible. I thought I’d share this one for a laugh. 🙂

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